for the past month i've had the door to julia's room closed. i started to tape all of the cards people have sent to the door. then after a few weeks i began to feel weird about keeping the door closed, like it's not even another room attached to our house. my mil asked dh to not keep it closed, i agree with her. so this past week we opened it crack, then halfway and today i went in.
it's a beautiful room, with light purple walls and gossamer wings border & acessories. i wanted it to be the kind of room any little girl would be proud to live in, with white furniture and a purple mosquito net (w. butterflies) hanging over an empty crib.
i'm not ready yet to decide what to do with all of her pretty little dresses and numerous outfits all affectionatly bought by friends and family. i cannot bear to pack them away, its like giving up. no there can never be a replacement for her, but i pray that one day she will have a little sister or brother that will live in this room.
unfortunatly, i had to tell a friend i haven't spoken with in a while about Julia's passing. that was harder than going into the room.
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