Thankfully, it's the last day of the worst year. I have never been so eager to say good riddance! Yes, there have been other years I would never want to relive but this has got to be one hell of an exception. Somehow, it all feels like a bad dream.
As the headline says- AF is back in the house! She's finally made her appearance for the first time in one year. It's so strange to not have a period for a whole year. I don't know how they've created a pill that puts off periods for months. No one likes Aunt Flo, but she's part of being a girl! It was a nice vacation to not have one, but I have to say it is good to have her back. It is a sign that my body is moving on.
The cramps have been brutal and it was somewhat of a reminder of labor pains. No matter how I try to escape it, memories flow back at some point of my day everyday. In the hospital the nurse talked to me about post traumatic stress disorder since I was having bad nightmares when I would cramp up post partum. That's when the Zoloft promotion came into play. I was told that taking the little blue pill would not only cure my physical aches and pains but also that "shell shocked" feeling. Well, sorry to tell them but I am surviving without it.
As for the weight loss mission: I did great on Sat- Dh and I went to the gym. Again I did about 30 min of eliptical then 3 sets of legs and some abdominals. As for food- I ate yogurt, went to sweet tomatoes and loaded up on salad, then I don't think I ate very much that evening.
Sun- Lost another lb because I ate nothing at night. Today was the slip up. Started the day out with yogurt, then mahi sandwich for lunch- I did not ea the bread but I did eat fries, drank a bloody mary (way too much sodium), then a draft beer, and for dinner ate chinese (again the sodium) mostly it was veggies and chicken but I did eat some rice. the slip up was the chocolate candies someone brought from Brazil ugh! I can't believe I am saying this but the sugar was awful after going days without eating it.
I find that AF really can sabotage a diet. Whenever she arrives it's a mad craving for chocolate in dangerous doses (maybe along with chocolate's evil bf salt!) my appettite becomes ravenous for carbs, esp pasta! Even drinks can be dangerous. Usually I try to avoid alcohol at this time because where there is AF, there is a tendency for excess. Balance is the key- even on the
Monday, December 31, 2007
fashion or trashion?
OMG! So I'm watching the new fashions of 2008 on Good morning America. IF this is what people are really going to year in 08, it looks like this is going to be and interesting year!( or we are in serious trouble)
We've already seen the comeback of the 90's legging, even the colored ones. (ok maybe I just saw those in Brazil) This is comfortable with a dress or long shirt, although my butt won't allow me to get away with this look ten years later.
It appears that the flying nun look is back (flowing oversized collar), assymertical tops (good luck finding a bra) , shoulder pads? or was it just the oversized blazer look?, the 90's paint splash look (reminds me of the first sofa I bought from rooms2go in 1996.)
It's basically it's the year of my third grade language arts teacher Mrs. Zimbler. She had a saavy way of wearing mens button down shirts, flowy comfy yoga type pants. She always had some funky tribal braclets or tiny glasses with wild hair. What a fun lady! She was always positive and happy.
I think looking good is necessary, but style belongs to each individual. Life is so much easier when you live comfortble and natural without worrying about what everyone else is thinking about your clothes. Feeling good is always in style.
We've already seen the comeback of the 90's legging, even the colored ones. (ok maybe I just saw those in Brazil) This is comfortable with a dress or long shirt, although my butt won't allow me to get away with this look ten years later.
It appears that the flying nun look is back (flowing oversized collar), assymertical tops (good luck finding a bra) , shoulder pads? or was it just the oversized blazer look?, the 90's paint splash look (reminds me of the first sofa I bought from rooms2go in 1996.)
It's basically it's the year of my third grade language arts teacher Mrs. Zimbler. She had a saavy way of wearing mens button down shirts, flowy comfy yoga type pants. She always had some funky tribal braclets or tiny glasses with wild hair. What a fun lady! She was always positive and happy.
I think looking good is necessary, but style belongs to each individual. Life is so much easier when you live comfortble and natural without worrying about what everyone else is thinking about your clothes. Feeling good is always in style.
Friday, December 28, 2007
the great amount of weight
From this day forward I've decided I am going to keep my blogs focused on postpartum weightloss. I am feeling kind of motivated after losing 3 lbs during the holiday week. (despite the fact that I ate cheesecake, drank alcohol and had lasagna amoung other things).
I've learned that postpartum weightloss is so difficult. The pregnancy not only messes up our hormones, but it seems like the sagging has begun. Gravity is not helping me out here, my belly is looking like the front end of a volkswagon and my thighs are like melting candles. ok, so I'm being funny but I am serious about losing the weight, even though weight loss is typically difficult for me. Forget genetics, diets and doctors, I will do it! Getting in shape is the most important factor in my healing process. The day when my body no longer has evidence of this pregnancy will be the one when I can think about going into another one with confidence.
Diets don't particularly work for me. Yes I've been a 15 lbs yo-yo for most of my life. When I was in high school I was on weight watchers. There's nothing wrong with WW, but for me it is too many food options. And there is not much focus on exercise other than walking. Walking is good cardio and some activity is better than none, but to fight the gravity of sag, one must do LOTS of cardio and moderatly build up to weight lifting.
The most amount I have ever lost was around 30-40lbs, at which time I worked out with a trainer whom I learned so much from. He corrected many of my eating habits- low carb but lots of lean protein, don't bother eating iceburg lettuce (no nutritional value, instead romaine), whole grain breads over white, eating small amounts of food throughout the day rather than 3 meals - or starving myself.
Other rules I follow to lose weight- eat nothing processed. I know it's easy for someone with a schedule like mine to say no to Lean cuisine...It's a pain in the butt- but eat only fresh fruits, veggies, and anything that did not come from a can, or box. Why because the preservatives they use in these foods do us no favor.
Fast food equals fat food and I notice the more I stay away from it the faster I lose. in a pinch I will eat wendy's chilli, chik fil a grilled chicken, or a wrap but again, these foods are not what we should put into our bodies. The sodium content is too high. again...its preservatives.
I also drink lots of water. I don't drink diet sodas, only an occasional tea. Sometimes I enjoy sugarfree hotcocoa if I am craving sweets. Sugar has got to be the worst thing ever (but OH SO good!) I think this 3 lbs came about since I stopped eating anything with sugar (with the exception of juniors cheesecake on xmas) I only use Splenda in my coffee. (not a fan of artificial sweetners either, but its better than nothing)
It's not going to be easy by any means, but I believe that I can do it- anyone can. The most important factor is to love ourselves- yes love all of the cellulite, flabby chicken arms, thunder thighs and all! It is only then that we can visualize ourselves as fit, healthy. From the way I see it,. this is the beginning to being sucessful. humans spend too much time focusing on what we don't like about ourselves, not realizing that when we focus on those things as they are- they cannot change.
My fav quote- "If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always gotten!"
I've learned that postpartum weightloss is so difficult. The pregnancy not only messes up our hormones, but it seems like the sagging has begun. Gravity is not helping me out here, my belly is looking like the front end of a volkswagon and my thighs are like melting candles. ok, so I'm being funny but I am serious about losing the weight, even though weight loss is typically difficult for me. Forget genetics, diets and doctors, I will do it! Getting in shape is the most important factor in my healing process. The day when my body no longer has evidence of this pregnancy will be the one when I can think about going into another one with confidence.
Diets don't particularly work for me. Yes I've been a 15 lbs yo-yo for most of my life. When I was in high school I was on weight watchers. There's nothing wrong with WW, but for me it is too many food options. And there is not much focus on exercise other than walking. Walking is good cardio and some activity is better than none, but to fight the gravity of sag, one must do LOTS of cardio and moderatly build up to weight lifting.
The most amount I have ever lost was around 30-40lbs, at which time I worked out with a trainer whom I learned so much from. He corrected many of my eating habits- low carb but lots of lean protein, don't bother eating iceburg lettuce (no nutritional value, instead romaine), whole grain breads over white, eating small amounts of food throughout the day rather than 3 meals - or starving myself.
Other rules I follow to lose weight- eat nothing processed. I know it's easy for someone with a schedule like mine to say no to Lean cuisine...It's a pain in the butt- but eat only fresh fruits, veggies, and anything that did not come from a can, or box. Why because the preservatives they use in these foods do us no favor.
Fast food equals fat food and I notice the more I stay away from it the faster I lose. in a pinch I will eat wendy's chilli, chik fil a grilled chicken, or a wrap but again, these foods are not what we should put into our bodies. The sodium content is too high. again...its preservatives.
I also drink lots of water. I don't drink diet sodas, only an occasional tea. Sometimes I enjoy sugarfree hotcocoa if I am craving sweets. Sugar has got to be the worst thing ever (but OH SO good!) I think this 3 lbs came about since I stopped eating anything with sugar (with the exception of juniors cheesecake on xmas) I only use Splenda in my coffee. (not a fan of artificial sweetners either, but its better than nothing)
It's not going to be easy by any means, but I believe that I can do it- anyone can. The most important factor is to love ourselves- yes love all of the cellulite, flabby chicken arms, thunder thighs and all! It is only then that we can visualize ourselves as fit, healthy. From the way I see it,. this is the beginning to being sucessful. humans spend too much time focusing on what we don't like about ourselves, not realizing that when we focus on those things as they are- they cannot change.
My fav quote- "If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always gotten!"
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Home from Brazil
Jetlag is a killer today but I feel refreshed even with little sleep. After 12 days in Brazil, both dh and I feel the winds of change sweeping into 2008. It's not usually a convienient time for us to travel this time of year but we were invited to a wedding (dh's bf) also, it was good for dh to see his family and friends.
This was my second trip to brazil and I cannot say enough about how wonderful it is. It is a beautiful country with diverse cultures, dreamy beaches (and yes, beautiful fun people), great food, clothes and incredible fruit. Whether on the beach or in the city the energy is exciting and new. I still haven't mastered portuguese but every trip it's getting better.
Overall, we had a wonderful time. The only difficult part was once again having to discuss the loss of Julia with friends and family face to face. People have been wonderful and dh has learned to discuss it more openly..since he was the one providing the explaination when people asked. It becomes too much for him if others cry, then he tries to change the subject. It meant a lot to be in the company of friends who expressed their support.
I see my husband in a different light when we visit his country, and I fall in love all over again. He has a huge circle of really great friends who adore him as much as I do. And he is most happy when he can show me places he worked, played and lived in a world that seemed so different.
This was my second trip to brazil and I cannot say enough about how wonderful it is. It is a beautiful country with diverse cultures, dreamy beaches (and yes, beautiful fun people), great food, clothes and incredible fruit. Whether on the beach or in the city the energy is exciting and new. I still haven't mastered portuguese but every trip it's getting better.
Overall, we had a wonderful time. The only difficult part was once again having to discuss the loss of Julia with friends and family face to face. People have been wonderful and dh has learned to discuss it more openly..since he was the one providing the explaination when people asked. It becomes too much for him if others cry, then he tries to change the subject. It meant a lot to be in the company of friends who expressed their support.
I see my husband in a different light when we visit his country, and I fall in love all over again. He has a huge circle of really great friends who adore him as much as I do. And he is most happy when he can show me places he worked, played and lived in a world that seemed so different.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
On Christmas day I watched the Secret with my mom. Now I've blogged a lot about the Secret because I do believe in it. And somehow, I've known about it since I was a child. Always an insomniac, I listened to soft, positive music at night and 'I would visualize my future. If there was something I wanted, I would really concentrate on it and somehow, things would happen.
My husband, also a Secret Believer, is one of my secret manifestions. There have been a lot of frogs before I met my prince, but I always knew what I was looking for in the person I would marry. When I was a teenager I wrote down a list of qualities I dreamed of in a future husband. From what I can remember the list was something like: calm, easygoing, international- well traveled, funny, cute-dark hair, tall, good listener (well maybe not), not religous but spiritual, loves nature, honest,sweet yada, yada.As I got older, I did not forgot about the list, but I forgot the dream and began creating patterns of attracting what I did not want. happen to find it in my old diary recently. It's scary to see how I was basically describing Rafael to a T!
The Secret has not only worked for me in relationships, but I have even seen how it works with almost anything you desire, jobs, getting in shape. It is not as easy as it sounds, because it seems that there is often some demon we all have wrestled at one time or another telling us our desire is an impossibility.
I've blogged about the secret many times, and I have recently had a few people respond asking about tragic things like rape, bad accidents, etc The question is- don't some things just happen as a random destiny? Is it our faulty thinking that causes something bad to happen? This is the part I struggle with.
I responded with my story, I have seen how some manifestations are the result of what we want and some of what we do not want. I think it's true that we often focus so much on the things that we don't want, we attract them. My mom kept telling me not to blame myself for what has happened with Julia. But I do believe that I sent out a lot of negative vibes- I focused on the wrong things, even though I was happy about the baby. I was obsessed about the weight gain, the physical discomforts as well as the emotional changes- would my life be the same with a baby? Could I finish school? Would I be a good mom?
I spent too much time allowing my thoughts to ponder off into self doubt and fear. People said those kind emotions may be "normal"( there it is my least fav word!) But dwelling on them can have a toxic effect. And quite obviously, it did. I was putting limits on my potential as a parent before it even happened. There was a voice in my head that was telling me, I've got to change my thoughts.
Now as painful as it is, I have come to the realization that my loss was meant to change my life. Sort of a life detour.Every aspect is changed from career to relationships. The road seems rough and dark, but if I focus on the stretch a mile at a time, I will see the sun again
My husband, also a Secret Believer, is one of my secret manifestions. There have been a lot of frogs before I met my prince, but I always knew what I was looking for in the person I would marry. When I was a teenager I wrote down a list of qualities I dreamed of in a future husband. From what I can remember the list was something like: calm, easygoing, international- well traveled, funny, cute-dark hair, tall, good listener (well maybe not), not religous but spiritual, loves nature, honest,sweet yada, yada.As I got older, I did not forgot about the list, but I forgot the dream and began creating patterns of attracting what I did not want. happen to find it in my old diary recently. It's scary to see how I was basically describing Rafael to a T!
The Secret has not only worked for me in relationships, but I have even seen how it works with almost anything you desire, jobs, getting in shape. It is not as easy as it sounds, because it seems that there is often some demon we all have wrestled at one time or another telling us our desire is an impossibility.
I've blogged about the secret many times, and I have recently had a few people respond asking about tragic things like rape, bad accidents, etc The question is- don't some things just happen as a random destiny? Is it our faulty thinking that causes something bad to happen? This is the part I struggle with.
I responded with my story, I have seen how some manifestations are the result of what we want and some of what we do not want. I think it's true that we often focus so much on the things that we don't want, we attract them. My mom kept telling me not to blame myself for what has happened with Julia. But I do believe that I sent out a lot of negative vibes- I focused on the wrong things, even though I was happy about the baby. I was obsessed about the weight gain, the physical discomforts as well as the emotional changes- would my life be the same with a baby? Could I finish school? Would I be a good mom?
I spent too much time allowing my thoughts to ponder off into self doubt and fear. People said those kind emotions may be "normal"( there it is my least fav word!) But dwelling on them can have a toxic effect. And quite obviously, it did. I was putting limits on my potential as a parent before it even happened. There was a voice in my head that was telling me, I've got to change my thoughts.
Now as painful as it is, I have come to the realization that my loss was meant to change my life. Sort of a life detour.Every aspect is changed from career to relationships. The road seems rough and dark, but if I focus on the stretch a mile at a time, I will see the sun again
Friday, December 21, 2007
Christmas has been canceled....
I woke up once again at my thinking hour, 4am. It is at this time when I do a lot of reflecting, planning and sometimes mourning. With everything dark, quiet, silent I can really explore my feelings without someone monitoring them. I've dreaded the holidays, everytime I see a baby's first Christmas item in a store it drives a hole through my heart. I wonder what Julia would look like and how old she would be. I think I will always wonder.
Scattered in my living room are the box of decorations that I cannot bring myself to put up. We did not bother with a tree but dh put up lights on the outside of the house and a wreath on the door. From the outside of our home, it looks festive and Christmas"y". But on the inside, it's not Christmas. It's the same living room that I've spent the last several months secluded myself in. It's funny how similiar I feel to this house...on the outside to others I am a smile, a warm greeting but on the inside a lonely cavern.
All I can do is make bigger plans for 2008. I've found that the more things I can change the better I will feel. Grief books say not to make any major changes for one year after your loss. Are they kidding? I think when something bad happens that one cannot control it's ok to want to change anything that we have the power to control. In my book this is called getting back our power or awakening the goddess within. So, my plans? Remodel my house, lose weight, change my job- maybe go back to school, my haircolor, and even my thoughts- get rid of all that do not serve me in a positive light.
Even though I am sending Christmas cards, I guess I am kind of skipping through it in my mind. It is more to thank all those family and friends who sent me cards and flowers when I went through the "unbirth". The message in my cards is simple and universal- Peace. The real meaning behind Christmas.
Scattered in my living room are the box of decorations that I cannot bring myself to put up. We did not bother with a tree but dh put up lights on the outside of the house and a wreath on the door. From the outside of our home, it looks festive and Christmas"y". But on the inside, it's not Christmas. It's the same living room that I've spent the last several months secluded myself in. It's funny how similiar I feel to this house...on the outside to others I am a smile, a warm greeting but on the inside a lonely cavern.
All I can do is make bigger plans for 2008. I've found that the more things I can change the better I will feel. Grief books say not to make any major changes for one year after your loss. Are they kidding? I think when something bad happens that one cannot control it's ok to want to change anything that we have the power to control. In my book this is called getting back our power or awakening the goddess within. So, my plans? Remodel my house, lose weight, change my job- maybe go back to school, my haircolor, and even my thoughts- get rid of all that do not serve me in a positive light.
Even though I am sending Christmas cards, I guess I am kind of skipping through it in my mind. It is more to thank all those family and friends who sent me cards and flowers when I went through the "unbirth". The message in my cards is simple and universal- Peace. The real meaning behind Christmas.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
The Jamie Lynn trainwreck
Ok, since I am back on the planet, I have to comment on this Jamie Lynn trainwreck, as they put it. To begin with, fame is a lot to handle at a young age. Just look at how many of the child stars are all screwed up because they grew up in the public eye. Why? In my opinion, these parents put their kids in a position where they are vulnerable to areas of maturity when they need to still be a kid- eg going through high school, learning about life without everything being handed to them. And sometimes its like they pimp out their children to the devil in order to make themselves capitalize.
Yes, it is unfortunate teenage pregnancy does happen. Even though some of the best moms I know today may have been young, I am sure everyone can agree that it robs these girls at some of the most important years of our womanhood foundation.Pregnancy is a huge mental and physical alteration- I don't know how I would have ever handled it at 16 (I'm 31!) esp the loss part..I'd probably go insane for sure.
Jamie Lynn is going to glamorize it and I think it's going to piss off parents everywhere when their girl comes home and says "but mom if jamielynn can be a mom I can do it too!" Britney wanted to be a young mom and she's done a great job- had them taken away only twice, gets them zoom treatments on their teeth, takes them tanning, and even lets them drive at 10 mos. cool mommy.
While I cannot judge Lynn Spears, I think she should have been more careful for what she wished for. After what happened with trainwreck #1, didn't she talk to her about the pill, condoms, a chastity belt?
Sorry, I would not be doing any interview with a magazine . I'd take that girl out of the public glam and show her how real life is. In the real world people have to work hard to finish school with a baby. And quite often, they don't have the same luxuries as she does. And the boy- well lets just say he would have to get a j-o-b.
Now it seems to be all over the media "what should we tell our teens"? Talk to them about birth control and even more important- hiv, herpes, hpv, etc. What ever happened to those commercials? Oh I think the pharmacuetical companies replaced the warnings with Valtrex- just take a pill and go hang gliding...it's not like you will ever have to deal with the emotions of having herpes again. We don't see commercials that deal with the prevention of stds. And even though I thought the Trojan ad where the pigs in the bar turn into men after they purchase condoms, it says nothing about disease.
It's obvious people- we are giving the wrong message to kids these days.
Yes, it is unfortunate teenage pregnancy does happen. Even though some of the best moms I know today may have been young, I am sure everyone can agree that it robs these girls at some of the most important years of our womanhood foundation.Pregnancy is a huge mental and physical alteration- I don't know how I would have ever handled it at 16 (I'm 31!) esp the loss part..I'd probably go insane for sure.
Jamie Lynn is going to glamorize it and I think it's going to piss off parents everywhere when their girl comes home and says "but mom if jamielynn can be a mom I can do it too!" Britney wanted to be a young mom and she's done a great job- had them taken away only twice, gets them zoom treatments on their teeth, takes them tanning, and even lets them drive at 10 mos. cool mommy.
While I cannot judge Lynn Spears, I think she should have been more careful for what she wished for. After what happened with trainwreck #1, didn't she talk to her about the pill, condoms, a chastity belt?
Sorry, I would not be doing any interview with a magazine . I'd take that girl out of the public glam and show her how real life is. In the real world people have to work hard to finish school with a baby. And quite often, they don't have the same luxuries as she does. And the boy- well lets just say he would have to get a j-o-b.
Now it seems to be all over the media "what should we tell our teens"? Talk to them about birth control and even more important- hiv, herpes, hpv, etc. What ever happened to those commercials? Oh I think the pharmacuetical companies replaced the warnings with Valtrex- just take a pill and go hang gliding...it's not like you will ever have to deal with the emotions of having herpes again. We don't see commercials that deal with the prevention of stds. And even though I thought the Trojan ad where the pigs in the bar turn into men after they purchase condoms, it says nothing about disease.
It's obvious people- we are giving the wrong message to kids these days.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
a few things i like about brasil
Since I lost the rest of "the brazil blog" here's the last of it.....
Things I love about Brazil- Fresh, unprocessed food (actually lost wt on this trip)
beaches,Bohemia beer, capirinha,- dangerous combo.
full service gas stations- I forgot how to pump gas?
street vendors that sell useful items like car phone chargers, gum, brooms, feather dusters (in case you get a cleaning bug) and those chicken cutlet looking breast inhancements you put in a bra (in case you are going to a party and the push up bra isn't working) all while you sit in traffic! It's like Walmart started a curbside drive thru lol
chivalry is never dead- men get insulted if you try to pick up your own bags, open your door.
they mean to be green- they use natural gas, alcohol, donkey poop (j/k), just about anything to save from burning oil.
style is your own- who cares if your colors don't match
they like disco music (and lots of the same stuff we listen to now) but I will never forget the first thing I saw on my last trip was a bunch of guys dancing to "it's raining men"- in the airport parking lot. It was obvious they didn't know the lyrics.
people are fun and carefree- they play soccer and have bbq just anywhere- if not on the beach, what the hell, the side of the highway- seriously!
Things I don't like:
Electric showers- not cool, it takes forever to get warm (dh says think of a toaster- problem is I have no patience)
The city weather is crappy on fine hair...and if you are looking for spray in conditioner, good luck:)
driving on mountainous roads (except for the view)
mosquitos in Ihla Bela are brutal. I had so many I had to cover my legs since the smallpox look is not sexy!
paper products suck (toilet paper,tampons- no they don't have pearl drop or easyglide)
those who are too caught up in vanity or being a label whore
when chivalry turns to chauvinism- "only men are allowed to do shots" huh?
oh and ladies, this is no place to be jealous- there may be lots of breasts on tv over the weekend and numerous in the street (but there's just as much window shopping going on for us too :) Lucky for him, dh is a good boy, I know he notices, but kind of acts like it's just something he's used to.
Speedos on men- I cleared this up with dh early on. He quickly and permanantly switched to the longer swim trunks after he found out in America chics won't dig it, but the guys will lol.
Things I love about Brazil- Fresh, unprocessed food (actually lost wt on this trip)
beaches,Bohemia beer, capirinha,- dangerous combo.
full service gas stations- I forgot how to pump gas?
street vendors that sell useful items like car phone chargers, gum, brooms, feather dusters (in case you get a cleaning bug) and those chicken cutlet looking breast inhancements you put in a bra (in case you are going to a party and the push up bra isn't working) all while you sit in traffic! It's like Walmart started a curbside drive thru lol
chivalry is never dead- men get insulted if you try to pick up your own bags, open your door.
they mean to be green- they use natural gas, alcohol, donkey poop (j/k), just about anything to save from burning oil.
style is your own- who cares if your colors don't match
they like disco music (and lots of the same stuff we listen to now) but I will never forget the first thing I saw on my last trip was a bunch of guys dancing to "it's raining men"- in the airport parking lot. It was obvious they didn't know the lyrics.
people are fun and carefree- they play soccer and have bbq just anywhere- if not on the beach, what the hell, the side of the highway- seriously!
Things I don't like:
Electric showers- not cool, it takes forever to get warm (dh says think of a toaster- problem is I have no patience)
The city weather is crappy on fine hair...and if you are looking for spray in conditioner, good luck:)
driving on mountainous roads (except for the view)
mosquitos in Ihla Bela are brutal. I had so many I had to cover my legs since the smallpox look is not sexy!
paper products suck (toilet paper,tampons- no they don't have pearl drop or easyglide)
those who are too caught up in vanity or being a label whore
when chivalry turns to chauvinism- "only men are allowed to do shots" huh?
oh and ladies, this is no place to be jealous- there may be lots of breasts on tv over the weekend and numerous in the street (but there's just as much window shopping going on for us too :) Lucky for him, dh is a good boy, I know he notices, but kind of acts like it's just something he's used to.
Speedos on men- I cleared this up with dh early on. He quickly and permanantly switched to the longer swim trunks after he found out in America chics won't dig it, but the guys will lol.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
tired
its a sunday that i want to stay in and do nothing. my emotions, my marriage, my grief, the holidays and finances are straining all I've got lately. i shouldn't complain because I am getting away in a few days to a place that is part of my life, Brazil...(dh home country). We are going to a wedding, and it's an essential get away for dh. He needs to connect with his family and friends after all that has happened.
I read in one of the numerous spirtual books friends have passed on that when a baby or child passes it is a test for parents. many people do not pass, they don't recognize that we all grieve differently. At which point impatience sets in and resentment builds. Comunication and understanding is the only way we can make it through. It is my only hope that we will surivive the pain that is driving through us without it creating a distance. Dh is a wonderful light that has changed my life, without him I would be lost. He has taught me to "always believe" in myself, in our relationship, and in manifesting what seems like the impossible. Seeing him sad kills me, I know this trip will have a healing effect on both of us.
I read in one of the numerous spirtual books friends have passed on that when a baby or child passes it is a test for parents. many people do not pass, they don't recognize that we all grieve differently. At which point impatience sets in and resentment builds. Comunication and understanding is the only way we can make it through. It is my only hope that we will surivive the pain that is driving through us without it creating a distance. Dh is a wonderful light that has changed my life, without him I would be lost. He has taught me to "always believe" in myself, in our relationship, and in manifesting what seems like the impossible. Seeing him sad kills me, I know this trip will have a healing effect on both of us.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)