Today is day one of back to reality after a 4 day cruise to cozumel and grand cayman. It was a wonderful experience and a much needed get away. For a few days we got away from town, our house, our lives- and the reality that haunts us everyday.
Just for a few days I didn't have to get mail with pictures of babies on it, or see commercials and all the familiar sites in my everyday life that remind me of the pregnancy. There were a few kids on the ship but that doesn't bother me. The atmosphere was fun and relaxing.
Cozumel was a wonderful place. The people are friendly, the margaritas were strong (maybe too much to have for breakfast and lunch), the ocean is beautiful and clear. Through my sun scorched margarita buzz, I felt something so spiritual there, the same impression as I had in Hawaii, there is a place so naturally wonderful only God could have created it. We hopped from beach to beach around the island, where each place something more peacful and beautiful can be found. Several times, I spotted the Julia butterfly in my path. It's amazing to see this same kind of butterfly everywhere I go. I really believe she is part of everything and is all around me. This is how I process death in my beliefs, we do not "go anywhere, but begin to astral travel by spirit.
Grand cayman was nice too. The ocean there was even more clear and pretty shades of blue. It was so relaxing to just float and refresh in the waters there. We spent hours on the beach, in the sun. For the first time in months, I felt alive and somewhat rejuvinated.
Now that I am back, its almost like my life has become some sort of puzzle that I need to put together to move on, Some days, it feels like none of the pieces fit.
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