ok here goes my sarcasm:
I'm sailing through all the wonderful torturous stages of grief- today on the menu is anger. i don't know where this came from. since the day Julia died, I promised myself I would not get angry- at myself, God, my doctor, dh....but somewhere this evil emotion has crept into my soul and I'm pissed. They say this is a healthy emotion to express and not to hide. But let's face it- anger is toxic and when I am angry I feel toxic..so I'm leting the toxins flow out-
yesterday I was angry at the 40ish pregnant woman in line behind me at the bank who smelled like an ashtray, to the couple who are suspected of murdering their little girl,- why did they leave her alone in the first place?, the woman who left her 2 yrd old to die in the car as she brought in donuts to her coworkers, the guy who cut in front of me in line at sweet tomatoes,I get mad when I look at my flabby, fleshy body in the mirror..esp my belly that I still have a linea negra.
I could go on and on- how ridiculous it all sounds but my emotions are like a runaway train and I feel like I don't know myself. At times I am strong like a rock and have more strength than I ever knew. While other times I fall into pieces without warning. It's like an emotional timebomb is going on inside of me...I guess this is post partum depression in full force. This is yet another cruel nature women must endure. Only it would not be so debilitating if there was a baby in the cradle.
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