dreft....

It's sept 11, I woke up to check if anything was blown up- isn't that bizarre? I think of people I knew who lost their families, children, on this day 6 yrs ago. I cannot imagine how horrible it must be for them...and to have this paranoia of it all happening again.
Today is my first day by myself. I still have to wait a few weeks before going back to work, and I'm not sure how yet. I'm still in that avoidance period- don't want to be asked by clients about the baby or explain to new ones that the remaining "baby bump" is from a baby that is no longer with us. I had to go through this the other day when my mom took me for a pedicure. This is my motivation for getting back into shape quickly- although I am afraid to over do it.
The Dreft- since my grandmother went back home, I've kinda let the laundry kind of pile up with the attitude that I will get to it when I feel like it. Then I realize I'm out of regular detergent and all we have is Dreft. A few weeks ago I was washing baby clothes with this and the smell of it made her more real to me. Now it makes me sick.