Time flies when we are not looking. For those of us who have lost a child at any age, for every year there are missed birthday parties, milestones and what ifs that plague our mind. The date 8/30 is a painful reminder of a day that I will never forget. An angel that I carried with me for 9 months who kicked, smiled and fluttered like a butterfly had left.
Grief is a life sentence on a rollercoaster. Emotions are unexpected, just when you think the ride is smooth, another reminder sends you for a whirl. I imagine my little girl starting preschool and wonder what she would look like.
This subject is one that we keep to ourselves. No one wants to see us in pain or holding on to something so painful. The sad fact is that we really have no choice. It's not something we can really ever forget or move on from. We do move on but in the back of our minds time will remind us....how many years ago, how it has changed us. What I have let go of is the what ifs. I cannot change what happened and I know it was not in my control.