could it be?

I'm freaked out. Some part of me is amused, shocked, and freaked out. Could it be? I'm about a week late and not sure what is going on. I've had some possible signals and I wonder if they were valid. Not only the usual sore breasts, train-wreck tiredness, and occasional nausea but also back pain and sudden anxiety.

I am dealing with so many mixed emotions at the thought of being pregnant again. I know how hard it is going to be to focus on keeping my mind and body as healthy as possible. Not that I didn't do all I could last time, I think there were times when I was ignorant. I've spend countless hours rehashing the last weeks of my pregnancy. Was it the time I went swimming in the ocean, ate sushi or did too much cleaning in my nesting frenzy? I've spend the last two years pondering these kind of wonders and have tried so hard to not let them drive me crazy.
My husband has been wonderful in giving me the time I have needed to recover. He has been ready to try again for sometime. We've gone through this rollercoaster of emotions for sometime now and it has been at times very difficult. Even in moments when he would feel angry or let down by Spirit, he has always maintained the strength to be supportive and encourage me that we must not let this loss defeat us from trying to have another baby. Without a partner like him, I don't know where I would be today. While tempting the idea to try again, there really has been no definitive plan. After the loss, there is a new normal. For me, there is no planning, it's whatever happens by chance will be.

Whatever plan the great Spirit in the sky has chosen for me I will accept with grace. I know that I can only manifest a positive outcome by being positive. As difficult as it may be to understand, I believe our destiny is predetermined, yet we have the power to attract miracles.