today (WAS) d day

9/07/07....it's been hard to think about it but today is the day Julia was expected. the last day of my pregnancy, Brasil's Independence day, and for me the most anticipated day of 2007. Like everyday, I begin and end in tears, hoping that time will speed up and relieve me of this unbearable emptiness, loss and powerlessness. I made it through the day with more strength than I have this far..even when someone asked about my pregnancy not knowing only that my uterus is empty, but that there was a baby and she past away...before I could have a chance to really be her mother. This could be considered, or I can not accept that I was robbed of being her mother. Julia was a white light, too good for this cruel world, designed to guide us through a journey. even though she was once a seed, then a blossoming butterfly that transended beyond..she was life that changed mine and Rafael's for if not for only nine months but a lifetime