IT's been one week since the delivery. Memorys of pregnant moments fill my mind with a happy nostalgia and my belly with phatom flutters. even after they told me the horrific news that my Julia was lifeless inside of me I somehow felt the falsified kicks. I imagined her little body floating in my belly.
Now one week later, I am beginning to look less pregnant and just feel soft and flabby. My whole being feels empty, soft, fleshy..I joked that I felt like the Michelin woman the whole last trimester, now I truly am a marshmallow. I am SO looking forward to getting back into the gym. Just to sweat out all of the toxins of pain medicine, epidural and antianxiety drugs that have flooded my veins in the past week. I imagine my liver protesting another tylenol pm. my breasts have become like rocks and they tell me cabbage leaves are the best cure to dry up the milk? it's unbelievable that we have meds for erectile dysfunction all over tv but there is nothing to relieve greiving childless mothers from the pain of having painful breasts full of milk. Priorities in the medical field are totally geared towards men.
People have sent flowers, cards and call my parents to express their condolences. Often, they don't even try to call me because they do not know what to say. I totally understand....that's why the title is post part um.....
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