It's a new day, a time for change and refresh the mood of this blog for a bit. After the big fat positive it is time to move on to the beat of a new drum. I miss my daughter every day, I will always wonder what she would be like at this stage of her life, what she would look like and what happened to her. As difficult as this new unknown road may seem, I must accept with blind faith that all will prevail and everything will go exactly as planned.
Once again I have given up martinis, hot tubs, swimming in the ocean, sushi, rollercoasters, and all the potentially harmful stuff I did last time. It seems like worthwhile sacrifices if it is going to result in a happy healthy baby. Yes I did feel cheated last time. I did everything I could and made it to the finish line only to lose so badly.
Other people are happy for us, yet some are fearful. Obviously, I can't live my life in a bubble but sometimes I wish I could. I could save my baby from all the chemicals, additives, sickness, swine flu, etc.
All I could do is make the best choices possible and believe in my spiritual nature.
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Sunday, January 13, 2008
i had a baby, not a complication
For any of you who happen to read my blogs about health care and insurance companies excuse my vent, because here is one more day that I have to relive the memory of gving birth to my stillborn baby.
I must first explain that while I have insurance (I pay through the nose for as self employed) I had to apply for assistance due to the fact that the maternity plan will cover all but my delivery. Here in Florida, a seperate policy is required for maternity benefits. If the pregancy is a surprise, good luck getting them to pay anything before 6 mos or one year. Something I think is a total injustice to women- no one should be penalized for being pregnant. (i'd have better coverage if i was 15 and unmarried!)
Today my insurance company called me about my doctor resubmiting claims to get paid for the delivery. The office manager knows that the remainder of the bill was 100% covered by the state plan since they did pay the hospital bill in full. The dr office is trying to send the claim as a "complication" of pregnancy. If they do that I will be responsible for $3k of the bill. He will get more money- I was told he's been paid over 1200 $ already.
I expressed my situtation to the agent- Julia was a healthy baby. There was no reason for her death other than the doctor making me wait to deliver. I whole heartedly believed she needed to come out at 38 1/2 wks. I was overblown with amniotic fluid and felt really bad the last 2 wks.The baby even moved in ways that seemed awkward to me (but what do i know- it's only my body) My complaints were dismissed as typical discomforts of pregnancy.
Up until now I have peacefully (and painfully) processed my grief for my loss. Now, I cannot help but get angry.
I must first explain that while I have insurance (I pay through the nose for as self employed) I had to apply for assistance due to the fact that the maternity plan will cover all but my delivery. Here in Florida, a seperate policy is required for maternity benefits. If the pregancy is a surprise, good luck getting them to pay anything before 6 mos or one year. Something I think is a total injustice to women- no one should be penalized for being pregnant. (i'd have better coverage if i was 15 and unmarried!)
Today my insurance company called me about my doctor resubmiting claims to get paid for the delivery. The office manager knows that the remainder of the bill was 100% covered by the state plan since they did pay the hospital bill in full. The dr office is trying to send the claim as a "complication" of pregnancy. If they do that I will be responsible for $3k of the bill. He will get more money- I was told he's been paid over 1200 $ already.
I expressed my situtation to the agent- Julia was a healthy baby. There was no reason for her death other than the doctor making me wait to deliver. I whole heartedly believed she needed to come out at 38 1/2 wks. I was overblown with amniotic fluid and felt really bad the last 2 wks.The baby even moved in ways that seemed awkward to me (but what do i know- it's only my body) My complaints were dismissed as typical discomforts of pregnancy.
Up until now I have peacefully (and painfully) processed my grief for my loss. Now, I cannot help but get angry.
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